So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
