Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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