They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
