why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Text me some of your sweat
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