yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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