am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
