we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
