the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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