If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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