I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
