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• (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  you'll never guess what i found when i got home...

  (928): View more from Arizona

  a cake, in the toilet

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way

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• (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out

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• (716): View more from New York

  It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me

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• (510): View more from California

  God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  My parents are being so annoying about my colon.

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