It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
