four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
