I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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