He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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