I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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