Texts From Last Night · Achlies's Favorites

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Achlies's Favorites Texts:

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(816): View more from Missouri

It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

Fav 1 1549 808
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(623): View more from Arizona

My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.

Fav 21 4629 1759
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.

Fav 20 1479 2407
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(361): View more from Texas

After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

Fav 14 5391 1675
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(602): View more from Arizona

no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.

Fav 2 1135 4048
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(913): View more from Kansas

You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.

Fav 9 4803 1585
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(760): View more from California

my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night

Fav 4 2821 1015
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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

Fav 33 13419 2006
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