Texts From Last Night · WideVocabulary's Favorites

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(813): View more from Florida

sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.

Fav 7 3331 1050
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(908): View more from New Jersey

but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.

Fav 20 5458 1268
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(361): View more from Texas

After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.

Fav 14 5391 1675
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(912): View more from Georgia

You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.

Fav 5 2592 1158
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(707): View more from California

I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

Fav 24 3454 1755
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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

Fav 13 4556 1534
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(903): View more from Texas

I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.

Fav 13 2748 1417
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"

Fav 18 6929 1478
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