Texts From Last Night · Xertadew's Favorites

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Xertadew's Favorites Texts:

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(206): View more from Washington

She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

Fav 29 9342 2131
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(719): View more from Colorado

Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.

Fav 15 4483 1429
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(269): View more from Michigan

its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"

Fav 11 5504 1229
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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

Fav 20 12259 1657
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

Fav 51 11496 1748
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(330): View more from Ohio

just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

Fav 12 14088 1678
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(806): View more from Texas

with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

Fav 31 10628 1612
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

Fav 12 4432 1485
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