Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?

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  Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion

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  I just can't deal with that sentence

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.

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