Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (512)

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry nerdynoel hasn't picked any favorites yet.

Last Night in Texas (512)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

Fav 7 1846 742
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

Fav 11 2086 787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon

Fav 9 2338 724
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

Fav 4 1402 844
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.

Fav 9 2051 727
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys

Fav 2 1001 1393
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.

(512): View more from Texas

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?

Fav 10 3193 1006
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma

Fav 12 1334 1968
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Or, jump to page: Go