i jhust puked up my retainher.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
