I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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