I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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