The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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