I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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