I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
