Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
