Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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