I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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