didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
