Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
