I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
cat food counts as protein by the way
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
