guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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