She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
