I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
