I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't think brook has ever known best
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We need to get me chipped asap
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
