is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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