I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
