Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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