You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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