i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
