6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
