this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
