you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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