You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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