I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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