some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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