we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
