Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
